The Feel Good Hit of the Summer

Epilogue

2005-09-09T12:47:00.000-03:00

I've been puzzling over the reasons of my lack of postage, and I think I've come to a conclusion. As the title and URL state, this is The Feel Good Hit of the Summer. It is no longer summer. I started this blog at the end of school, when I was in an interesting state of mind. I needed this blog as a source of expression and it suited the purpose quite well. It also allowed me to connect with friends - both old and new.

So I appreciate this blog.

I think that if you read through it, there is an odd progression. My first couple posts were extremely manic and depressing almost to the point of embarrassment. Then there was a calm, where I was alone with my thoughts without any outside disturbances - no bullshit. Then party life took over and I was extremely happy. Posting became sparse. Frankly, I didn't need the blog anymore.

So, this is a chapter of my life. I worked through some shit, as some of my close friends know, and I'm better now. Better in every sense of the word. Having said that, I think it would be stupid to keep writing in this particular blog. It definitely has a beginning and an end and so it's like a little story via method of journal.

I'm gonna make a new blog, but I'm definitely not going to touch this anymore. I'll let everyone know when and where they can find the new blog. It should be forthcoming soon, with a slightly new approach.

At long last! A Post!

2005-08-08T13:37:00.000-03:00

I feel it has been a long time since I posted and I am well overdue for an update on my Nantucket situation.

First things first. I got my Nine Inch Nails ticket. That weekend will be amazing. Leigh, Amy, Josephine and Richard (my American homies) have their tickets too and we're all going to meet up with Lucas and hopefully Matt in Montreal and it's going to be an amazing adventure.

I've been working a bit of overtime this week. I worked an auction and an art gallery opening. The auction was filled with a lot of wierd rich people. I counted 4 gold diggers, 3 women who have had their faces pulled back so many times that they now look like Skeletor and one woman who looked like a mix between a California raisin and a Gremlin. She frightened me the most. I met two of the golddigger/trophy wives. One was very submissive and placid. The other was aggressive and took bullshit from no one. I could tell that she worked very hard for her place in upper society. As for the men, I still cannot explain the sailing motif. Every rich old man wears pink, lemon yellow or lime green pants, despite the fact that they're also wearing a suit at the same time. It is the most obnoxious clothing trend and it must be purged from society. When I look at these colours, I actually get noxious and my pupils go crazy and I'm temporarily blinded. These colours are ok in general, but they should not reflect sunlight as dramatically as they do.

5 days ago I drank a fair amount... nothing unusual. But when I woke up the next morning it was like tazmanian devils were clawing their way out of my stomach/ass/throat. It was terrible. I got to work, threw up, shat, then they sent me home because I was obviously going to die. Next time I wont eat half a bag of overdue lettuce for super. My god, it was the worst I've felt since I had the Norwalk virus. Luckily, the feeling only lasted a day and a little bit.

I only have 12 days left. This makes me sad. If it could be perpetually July 2005, I would be extremely happy. I'm going to be sad to see Leigh and Amy leave on Wednesday. It's going to be a very depressing 10 days after they and their roommates leave. I guess I should be happy. The summer was amazing and I made some great friends. Most importantly, I didnt have to deal with Valley bullshit, like last summer. My oh my, this summer went fast.

Ok, now I'm off. I'm going to see "March of the Penguins" with Liegh tonight and I got some shit to do before I go. If you all must know why I'm going to see such a ghey movie, then you obviously don't know me at all. In highschool, some days were more depressing than others. Usually I could count on the Discovery Channel to provide me with some animal hijinks (SP?) once the day was over. Most often I would catch 1 of 3 documentaries that would always send me into a state of uncontrollable bliss. The three documentaries were about monkeys, jungle cats or penguins (my favorite). When I found out that there was an entire movie devoted to penguins and penguin type shinanigans, I almost crapped myself. So fuck you, don't judge me, we all have our vices and methods of retaining sanity. Mine are penguins and "Singin' in the Rain". Dont expect me to explain Singin' in the Rain, because I'm just as shocked as you are.

the best birthday present ever!!!!

2005-08-01T16:59:00.000-03:00

My birthday isn't until November (you should already know that, you sluts) but my mother has already confirmed my present; a ticket to Montreal so that I can see Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stoneage and Death from Above 1979. This lineup is quite possibly the best lineup I could ask for.

And the trip just seems to be getting better by the second. Not only will I meet Hong and Lucas in Montreal, some of my American friends decided last night that they will also make the trip. We were all a little drunk, but sober enough to be really excited. It's going to be one big messy party, if you ask me. Some of my favorite people, two of my favorite bands and my favorite city - all in line with my birthday. I dont think there will be a sober moment. Holy shit, this is going to be fucking awsome.

I think this trip will be the equivalent to a 4 day orgasm.

I blame Capitalism

2005-07-26T17:25:00.000-03:00

It never fails. I enter a bar, and I inevitably look for the cheapest available drink. Why do I do this? Well, some may say that I'm an alcoholic and that I'm just trying to get as much booze into me for as little as possible. I will disagree. I'm a consumer, and THAT is why I drink until I can't feel feelings.

Living in a capitalist society we are trained to think and act as consumers. You are supposed to look for ways to maximize your purchasing power. When you go to the supermarket, before you even step into the store you are already acting like a consumer. You could have gone to the Mom and Pop shop on the corner, but goddamnit, the Super Duper Mart is a lot cheaper. Once you get in there and you see a 90 pack of jumbo sized ribbed-for-her-pleasure condoms with bonus KY for only $7.74, you HAVE to get them because... well... when are you gonna get a deal like that again? It doesn't matter if your penis is 3 1/2 inches long and you don't have a girlfriend. You're supposed to act upon amazing deals like this.

And so that is why I had those 12 beers the other night. Beer was only $2 and I had limited funds. I had to succumb to the power of a good deal. I'm not a filthy booze hound. I have become a slave to the capitalist system.

???

2005-07-24T11:25:00.000-03:00

I'm at work and I'm still drunk and I was an hour late and I dont remember how I got home and my side hurts and I've been drunk since 3pm yesterday.

gah

Oh, and I bought a tuxedo t-shirt. I now classify as a sexy bitch.

I are caveman...

2005-07-20T17:06:00.000-03:00

Because I think I'm the only person on this island without a cellphone. Yesterday I saw a 9 year old with one . FRIKKIN' NINE YEARS OLD! And I can't go down the street without some obnoxious jackass screaming at the top of his lungs, "I can't hear you. My cell doesn't have good reception here." ...yet he keeps talking to the person on the other line. Oh and then there's the really cool and modern type of jackass who will put his phone on loud speakers. You know, just so he doesn't have to have the phone against his face. Apparently these things could cause brain tumors. Here's an idea. GET RID OF THE FUCKING PHONE. I DONT NEED TO HEAR YOUR CONVERSATION WHEN I'M ON THE BUS! IN FACT, I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS FOR ONE SECOND, IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK.

Then there's the vapid discussions about cellphones, cellphone models, cellphone ring tones, cellphone plans, cellphone cameras, cellphone text messaging and cellphone dildos. I have not been amongst a large group without the topic coming up. Not once. Not only is this type of discussion stupid and moronic, it's quite possibly the most boring conversation I've EVER HAD. Then eventually someone will ask me about cellphone related doodadery and gadgetry, and I have to say, "Oh I dont have one. And I'm glad. I hate the fucking things. If I'm out, I dont want people to find me. They can leave a message at home. NOTHING is so urgent that I need to talk to someone while I'm sitting on the can in a porno shop - for example..." And then all of a sudden people think I'm wierd.

Some people - I wont name names - feel the need to talk to their friends ALL THE TIME. And they greet their friends with, "Oh my GAWD! I HAvn't TAlked TO YOu in SO LONG! LOL! OMG! ROFL!!!" They especially do this when drinking in a group. To me, that is the rudest thing to do while in the company of others. It says "I'm sorry, I dont really like you people, so I'm gonna yak on my cellphone as loud as I can without excusing myself to another room."

And finally, there's the comment; "I don't know how I ever got along without --insert cellphone related comment here --" I'll tell ya how. Before, when you were maybe 17 or 18, you weren't such a needy douchebag that always depended on a piece of unneeded technology. Gain a little fucking independence, jackass.

feel good hit, indeed

2005-07-16T11:52:00.000-03:00

I feel as though I should explain myself for not posting so much lately. Frankly, I'm having too much fun. I'll try to recap the week as best as possible, but I'm not so sure I can.

Last Friday I bartended at an art show and made 135 smackers. I spent the money on 3 CDs; Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth, Nirvana - Nevermind and Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. Everyone should own all of these CDs. They are fantablous-erific. The rest of the money has been blown on booze. Hurah!

The rest of the week has been a bit of a blur, and I'm not so sure I can keep the days straight... so I wont bother. The things I've done have involved a charity baseball game - that I snuck into. A ballroom dancing lesson, that I will be doing once a week now - Leigh and her friends have their ways of persuasion. I had a party at my place, and made a concoction called Jungle Juice. Jungle Juice will destroy even the most hardcore of drinkers - as it destroyed me in that delightful way. I went to an 80's night at a bar, was the only person dressed up, gave my Elvis glasses away to someone, went home with the most guilty pleasured grin I've ever had. I freaked out on a co-worker, but it's ok because she's too stupid to realize. Last night I was supposed to go to a movie, but we got discouraged by the line... so we drank enought to drown a village. The end results were most welcome. At the end of the night, I had celebration beers. I dont know what I was celebrating, but whatevs. It was a good time.

I have some other little articles and thoughts that I will be communicating soon enough, it's just that I'm a bit hungover from the week to type it all out. I'm sure I forgot some stuff for the above paragraph, but like I say, it's been a blur.

Regarding the Gay Issue

2005-07-14T13:13:00.000-03:00

Why is it an issue at all? Can we, as a society, collectively stop giving a shit? I propose that we turn the issue of sexual preference into something that is comparable to the Pepsi/Coke debate. With Pepsi/Coke, no one really cares about the difference, but we all have a distinct preference. And anyone who enjoys both Pepsi and Coke are totally acceptable, but we all know that these people are confused in life and really don't know what they want at all. Personally, I enjoy Coke. Pepsi is not my style. I also like vaginas. Penises are not my thing.

See how easy that is? The difference should and could be the same kind of difference. Watch this...

Man: Excuse me, can I have a coke? (Hey, wanna have sex?)

Woman: No, I'm sorry, we only have Pepsi in this establishment. (Sorry, I dont choke on dicks. I like the nanners)

Man: Oh, ok. I'll just have a water instead. (Oh, ok. I'll just go masterbate then)

The guy may be a little miffed about not getting some coke, but for the time being, water is good enough.

Preference for anything, when torn down to its root, is trivial. It has no bearing on anything, but people like to pretend that it is important and may affect society. Some people think that because I like a certain hockey team or brand of toothpaste some definitive information can be deduced about my personality. This is false. It is just merely a facet of my entire personality - just like my love of boobs is another part of my being.

Patrick Conolly, you sexy bitch

2005-07-11T17:17:00.000-03:00

I got your beer. I must admit, I didnt think it was going to arrive. It arrived at my work, no less. I am now going home to enjoy this beer. Hopefully it is not skunky. I imagine it wont be. Molson makes a good product. Pat, I think I'll buy you a hooker next time I see you. You deserve it on cleverness alone.

Let's clear this up

2005-07-10T22:46:00.000-03:00

Many years ago, I was of the opinion that Americans sucked. I had a variety of reasons and many people still share these views. These views are not only flawed, but they are rediculous and border-line retarded. They are based on fallacies assuming that Americans were arrogant, ignorant, and basically stupid. I was wrong to generalize like this. You see, a few years ago I grew up a little. It wasn't that I decided that being angry at the world was overrated, it was that I realized the foolishness of hating someone based on the fact they belonged to a certain group. That's what racists do.

I hate a lot of people, and most of the people I know are Canadians. So, should I therefore hate Canadians? No. That's absurd. But for some reason a lot of Canadians hate all Americans, though they've never really met one and base their opinion on the whackjob evangelicals and other people they see on TV.

So what's Chris getting at here? I'll tell you what. I've been thinking about all the people I've met whilst in the US of A, and I've found that *GASP* a lot of these people are really nice. In fact, I'd say (get ready for this one) they're a lot like Canadians in that sense. Now, maybe I'm in an isolated place here, but I've met a lot of people from off island and they've been extremely cool - and intelligent (something that is rare in the last 2 cities I've lived in). I have, on the other hand, met some wankers, and seen a lot of wankers. But you know what? THEY'RE EXACTLY LIKE THE SAME FUCKING WANKERS ALL OVER CANADA!

"But Chris. Americans are jerks. They don't know anything about Canada and are ignorant of us." WHO FUCKING CARES!?!?! I'll bet that every Canadian that says something like that couldn't identify more than 6 states on an unmarked American map. PLUS, I bet they couldn't name more than 7 US presidents. But you wanna know where Americans got us? They can name most American presidents. Most Canadians can't name 5 Prime Ministers! How fucking dumb is that? ONe day I was in a group of people, who I no longer consider friends, and I said something about Paul Martin - AFTER he became PM, no less - and EVERYONE was like "who's that?" I nearly had a stroke.

"ya, but Chris, they're arrogant and snobbish." Anyone who invites me in their home and offers me beer is A-OK. Oh, and most people here are aware that Budwieser is shit. It's general knowledge in the US. They drink it for the same reason that I'll drink a Colt 45. It's fuckin cheap.

"Alright Chris, fine, but what about the whole culture and media and assimilation thing?" First of all, I've met some very interesting people here. Back home, I know a handful of truly interesting people. Here, I've been meeting interesting people at the same rate as back home. I wonder why? Oh, well our TV is the same, our music is pretty much the same, our clothes are the same... oh wait, that would make us pretty much the same. And on a similar note, we may not have evangelicals, but we got the Conservative party, and they're crazy enough. The only difference is that they don't run our politics. But hey, at least more than half of the US population is interested in politics. Some may have a skewed view, but at least they fucking VOTE.

So, in summation of this disjointed and angry rant, I'll just say that if anything, I'm hating Canadians right now. A lot of Canadians pride themselves on not being American. Well, these people havn't actually taken the time to meet Americans, obviously. One on one, Americans are very charming and nice. When they're talking about their country, they're assholes. But so are Canadians.

Dear kid-on-the-cover-of-Nirvana's-Nevermind-Album,

2005-07-09T17:05:00.000-03:00

By now you are probably 15 or 16 years old. You are probably well aware that your shlong is on the cover of the best album of the 90's. Do you brag to your friends about this? I would. I hope that you aren't embarassed about how everyone has seen your penis. I mean, you were a baby. It's supposed to be small like that.

Are you upset at the fact that the photo depicts you chasing a dollar bill that is attached to a fishing line? I would be upset, not because it would make me (you) look like a raging consumerist piglet, but because it's lame imagery. Babies have no concept of money. I mean, what's up with that?

I hope you're not a fag and listen to shitty music like Nickelback or 50 Cent or Good Charlotte. That would be the world's greatest tragedy. Well, at least the Alternative music scene's greatest tragedy. Or maybe that would be fitting irony, in which case the Altern culture would enjoy hating you. They're like that. People liked being unhappy in the early 90's.

Well, hopefully you're not lame.

Respectfully yours,

Chris

Oreos for Breakfast

2005-07-09T13:49:00.000-03:00

Someone asked me how I eat my oreos and I asked them, "what's the big fuckin deal?" I will admit, they are a good substitute for my regular breakfast.

So Thursday night was Amy's 21st birthday. We all went out to her place and they made me drink their booze. I had no choice. I got there and Kristin was like, "Oh, the Canadian will drink our booze. I like Canadians." I hate being stereotypical. Kristin was also the one who liked to point out my devil eyes. She got the quote of the evening as far as I'm concerned; "That's awsome. I now know someone who puked so hard that he blew his eyeballs up." She's from Buffalo. Up-state New York girls are fun, especially when they're originally from around Greenwhich Conn.

After those shinanigans we went to the bar and Amy wouldn't let us buy her drinks. I was sorta pissed. I was gonna start her off with a blowjob, then a purple haze, then wehn I got her confidence up I'd get her a Prairie Fire (Tequila + Tobasco). She didn't even make it past the blowjob. Not cool.

Last night I made $130 and I'm trying to think of the most rediculous way to waste it. Booze inevitably the first response, but I don't want to do that just yet.

I just blinked and it got sunny outside. Screw this, I"m goin to the beach. Later fuckers.

The 3 Day hangover

2005-07-07T17:21:00.000-03:00

Alright, I'm not actually hungover still, but the effects of my beerphoria on Monday are still being felt today. Add on the fact that I can't sleep anymore, and we've got quite possibly the grumpiest MacGregor ever. I nearly blew up at my bubbly little co-worker yesterday. I was visibly pissed, so much so that my boss started sucking up to me - which was a change from his grumpy self. Let me tell you, my new co-worker brings ineptitude to an artform. Plus, she drinks 3 or 4 redbulls a day, so she's constantly tweeked.

Compound that frustration with some physical ailments that I am currently troopin' through. Here's the list...

#1. Legs are still sore from dancing for like 3 hours on Monday night. Ya, I'm a pussy, but so what. I dont normally dance. Oh, and if you're reading this Lucas, it was reminiscent of our Hull adventures.

#2. My eyes. They are blood shot. Not normal "bloodshot". "Pools of blood in the corner of my eyes" - bloodshot. I have to wear sunglasses ALL the time, or else my eyes water and it's hard to see. So, when I'm inside the museum, I gotta squint rediculously. But, I've enjoyed the positive side of this immensely. I've taken to scaring little children by glaring at them with my devil eyes.

#3. Eternal headache that starts from the back of my eyes to the sides of my head. I have to take 4 extra strength tylenol just to kill the pain. This is probably due to lack of sleep. I havn't had more than 5 hours sleep since Sunday night. YAY!!!!!!!!!

#4. Then there's the humidity that's making it hard for me to breath properly. My mom says I probably developed asthma. Apparently the fact that I'm allergic to lots of stuff means that I'm also highly susceptible to catching the sexy ailment known as asthma. woo hoo... Looks like I gotta stop letting Jeremy smoke...

July 4th shit show

2005-07-05T13:19:00.000-03:00

Last night I was a very very bad boy. I drank enough to kill a horse and I am missing parts of my memory - mainly the part about how I left the bar and my friends. But let's do a recap.

5 - 5:30: Hop on the bus with Lee to go to her place for a BBQ. The BBQ was good. I brought chips.

5:30 - 10:00 - ate burgers, drank beers, did shots. THEN, I drank what seemed like a litre of some concoction called "jungle juice". Jungle Juice involves fruit, fruit juices, jam, beers, pint of rum, some tequila, pint of vodka and some other unknown things. Needless to say, it was great. I proceeded to get shitfaced, and so did everyone else. Some of our friends left to go see fireworks that were cancelled due to fog. 6 of us stayed and drank their alcohol.

10 - ? - Went to a bar, got VIP passes. The guy who drove us proceeded to buy us alcohol. Lots of it. Lots and lots and lots. I did something like 4 or 5 shots with him, THEN he kept buying me beers! AND! he wasn't trying to get in my pants! I was then a filthy drunk on the dance floor (yes, I danced and it was rediculous). I have a fading memory of doing karaoke, but I'm not sure if it happend - it's entirely possible though.

intermission (ie, I have no idea when this happened) - I left the bar, dont know why or how. Left the people I was with for whatever reason. I don't know why Jeremy does the things he does, but it inevitably takes me somewhere. So this "somewhere" was at a bar, that I still can't remember. I made friends with a black dude named T-Dawg or Tyronne or something like that. I remember there being a "T". Not sure though. He was really gangsterish too. It was funny. He had a duerag and everything. We became best friends and he introduced me to all his friends and shit and I think he promised me dope or something. That didnt happen. We closed the bar and drank a couple shots. The bartender was like, "leave. I wanna go to bed." So then T-Dawg and I walked around town, drunk off our asses. I think I got into an argument with a cop. It wasn't a good scene. Then I ate pizza. something else probably happened, but who knows for sure?

3am (maybe) - Finally noticed that my friends were gone. Finally remembered what I did on the dancefloor. Went home.

4am - stumbled in the door and fall asleep NOT ON MY BED.

5am - wake up, put some clothes in the dryer. Roommates weren't impressed, I'm sure. Then I went to bed.

7:48 - wake up, still fully clothed, shoes and all. Realize, "oh shit! I gotta be at work in 10 minutes."

8:05 - walking in zigzags into work, my boss gives me a look that would peel paint off a barn. I think I stank or something. I then cleaned, and did my regular duties. Then I threw up. First time that's ever happened. I've never been so sick the next day after drinking, except that time I got the Norwalk virus, but that's another story entirely. Anyways, my boss asked me if I was alright, I said yes, and she said I could go home if I wanted. Didn't bother. The puke-fest kinda made me feel better. Oh and by the way, Red Bull are TERRIBLE for hangovers.

So now it's lunch and I'm super tired and my eyes are bloodshot like hell. It's a wonderful life, folks

Canada Day Extravaganza

2005-07-02T11:47:00.000-03:00

Last night was excellent. It is rare that I am totally satisfied with an evening. It was a perfect combo of booze, lady friends, pizza, bars, and random tomfoolery.

I went around the bar and talked to random people and told them that it was Canada Day. They were like, "Oh ya?" and I was like "YA! I'm Candadidieenn!!!" and they were like "do you play hockey?" and I was like "YA! I'm awsome!" and they were like "probably! You're Canadian!"

By the sounds of it I was pretty drunk, but not really. I was in a really good mood, so it's a little different. I think the term is "festive". I was drunk enough to keep Jeremy satisied, but not so drunk that he did crazy things that Chris will have to regret the next day.

I also ran into one of the museum curators last night. I think he was a little drunk. Hopefully he was because I'll have a little explaining to do at work the next time I see him. I ran up to him and was like, "Ben! I'm so happy to see you!" I proceded to hug him and put my arm around him. He was with his wife, who is super cool too. She was laughing hysterically and was like, "Ben. Give Chris your pizza. He looks hungry." And then he did. And I ran away, because my lady friends were waiting on line for food.

Another thing. There is a small number of guys in the social circle that I have moved into. This is good. I dont mean it in the sense that I want to bone all the girls, but in the sense that it's a change of pace from F'ton where our group is a giant mass of testosterone.

Now if you will all excuse me - I have to munch on something and work off this mad hangover.

A good pizza fixes everything

2005-06-30T21:37:00.000-03:00

Oh man, this pizza was a work of art. BBQ sauce, grilled chicken breast, onions, green and red peppers, cheddar cheese, havarti cheese and monterey jack. Holy balls, it was magnificent.

Plus, the weather is clearing up and it's supposed to be nice tomorrow. That means that our Canada Day/Beach Party extravaganza should go as planned.

I can already taste the Molsony goodness.

Bad Day

2005-06-30T17:05:00.000-03:00

Today was perhaps one of the shittiest days of the summer. I cannot come up with anything constructive right now, because I am thoroughly annoyed.

I swear, if Canada Day is ruined for me tomorrow, I will choke someone to death.

tra la la la la

Webster should be informed.

2005-06-28T18:36:00.000-03:00

I've come to realize that there is a new definition for "embarassment" and I think I'll write Websters so that my picture can be put next to the word.

Embarassment: When a guy goes to a bar with 9 girls and has his ID turned down.

Holy crap did I get pissed off. I didn't show it though because luckily Eva had some cigarettes to keep my blood from boiling. Furthermore, what kind of place calls itself an "Irish Pub" without serving pitchers of beer and not letting anyone in to drink on a Monday night? The Irish have lost their essence, my friends. Someone save them because they obviously can't save themselves.

Heated random thoughts

2005-06-27T17:22:00.000-03:00

"Heated" as in "it's hot as balls outside". It was so humid and shitty out today. I drank a gallon of water then sweat it out 10 seconds later. It was the kind of heat where you don't actually sweat. Sweat is little beads of salty water escaping your pours. I had vapour emanating from my skin.

This leads me to random thought numero uno.

If we were to personify certain aspects of weather, I think Humidity would be the cocky, unwanted house guest. You see, the unwanted house guest makes the mistake of thinking that it is welcome. It thinks that it is super awsome and suave. The unwanted house guest - or humidity - thinks that just because it is hot, everybody likes it and that it's presence is a beautiful and spectacular experience. The reality is that it just makes everyone uncomfortable and annoyed. The problem with personified weather is that you can't kick it in the nuts and tell it to fuck off.

Following this theme, I think frost-bite would be a waspy lesbian...

Thought the second.

Ok, last night I had a discussion with 3 girls. They were cool. This is not the thought that I wish to convey, but I must add this because there is a lack of cool on Nantucket. ANYWAYS. We were talking about pants that have big bold lettering on the butt. One girl thought that it was just dumb, and the other two were all like, "Aw, hellz naw. I gots like tons of dose pants, biatch. You best not be gettin up in mah grill and...." They didn't talk like that, but it's better for me to remember it that way. Makes reality more interesting.... ANYWAYS. I piped in at this point and said this, "I agree that those pants are somewhat annoying but not because they look bad. I think they look fine. The problem is that so many girls wear these pants and get pissed when guys start staring at their ass. It's like a girl wearing a really low cut shirt, but getting pissed when her cleavage is visible. You're trying to show off your assets. Don't get upset when you get attention. Besides. If a guy is staring, it only means that he is admiring the merchandise." They laughed a bit and the moment passed. But I'm not sure if they agreed or just hadn't thought about it that way before.

Am I rite? Someone tell me I'm right.

3rd and final thought. This one is sorta serious...

Everyone knows about the "Live Strong" rubber band bracelets, right? Well they make blue ones for Tsunami relief and a bunch more for every cause imaginable. The funny thing about these bracelets is that they mass produce them in China. On the inside of the bracelet is a "made in china" label. A symbol for peace and love and harmony is mass produced in a country that pisses all over human rights and allows shitty labour conditions - the same labour conditions that probably produced these trendy symbols of love and support that is found on the wrist of every hipster kid in America.

HAZAA!

The Streak is OVA

2005-06-25T11:15:00.000-03:00

Yes, I finally went to a bar last night, and it was... mediocre. Let's start from the beginning though. First I bartended some art opening for a couple horus and made $85!!! That's intense! So I think i'm gonna buy a black Lacoste shirt and spend the rest of the money on good booze - probably Grey Goose vodka.

Then I went home, made an awsome pizza and lazed around for a while. As I was falling asleep the delightful Erin and Amy walked in the door to shanghai me. It was close to 10 and I was getting ready to go to bed (who is this Chris that goes to bed at 10 on a Friday? I am unfamiliar with this character. Jeremy is getting furious).

First we went to a house party which was pretty cool. These guys have a tiny house that's right on the water. It's probably worth close to a million dollars, but resembles a smaller version of the war-era housing you'd find in Saint John's north end. Fucking rediculous. So, these Nantucketers were playing beer pong and let me tell you something; these guys must have been pussies because they only used one beer to fill all six cups. Any hardcore Maritimer will tell you to AT LEAST fill each cup half way - sometimes completely if you really wanna make a mess of things.

Once I got over that, we went to the bar. It wasn't a bad little place. It was kinda like Cougars, minus the... well... Saint John skeeze. The bar was packed with a bunch of trendy (and beautiful, mind you) Nantucketers. It's funny. Even the kids who don't want to be trendy dress in some kind of anti-trend, which is in and of itself, a trend. I didn't tell them though. They seemed so happy. (Who am I to talk? I'm gonna buy that Lacoste shirt with my extra bartending money).

Once I finished my $12 double Rye on the rocks, we figured it would be best that we go home as we all had to work in the morning. Got home at 1, went straight to bed, woke up at 7 - hangover free, suprisingly. Now I'm at work (on my fucking day off) and I'm being sent home because they no longer need me. I'm off to have a Red Bull and go to the beach. It's so SOOOOO nice out. Apparently it's record-setting hot in Boston today, so that means we'll get a little bit of that.

I hope all you motherfuckers have a great day.

Day off randomness

2005-06-24T13:52:00.000-03:00

So I was hitting the "Next blog" button and here are some blogs of note:

I immediately came across this: http://eternous.blogspot.com/ Not a bad way to start off. It's a spanish porno blog. I don't know what they're saying, but I think we all understand the universal language of the Vag.

http://ichigo86.blogspot.com/ This person updates DAILY and no one responds to the posts. Hahahahahahhah. They use internet spelling for every other word too. I hate people like that... Why post if no one is reading? This person even asks "how is everyone doing?" Fuckin wierd.

http://pamandersonblog.blogspot.com/ there are a bunch of sites exactly like this, linking to the exact same porn sites. I found 3 so far, with different layouts and different titles, but the same posts and inks. I always knew there was a lot of porn on the net, but I didn't think it infiltrated Blogger. Here's another link... jeeze http://evalongoriawallpaper.blogspot.com/

http://all-about-discount-contact-lenses.blogspot.com/ Name says it all. Who would this site????

http://lazyiguana.blogspot.com/ AND FINALLY, a site worth reading. This guy is pretty funny, in my opinion (and we all know that I am the highest authority). Me thinks I found another daily read.

Today is the greatest

2005-06-23T16:26:00.000-03:00

Well, not really, but Billy Corgan says so. I was driving in the work van today and then "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins came on the radio. I felt just like Billy did in the video, only his truck was of the icecream variety and I have more hair. And then I picked up an ambiguously gay asian cowboy and then I pulled into a gas station and covered the truck with different colours of paint and then the gas station attendants took the truck and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere, but it was ok because the asian cowboy gave me his hat.

Shortly after the song, the DJ announced that Billy wants to get the band back together. Hong had mentioned this to me the other day, and I must admit, I'm a little skeptical. Corgan says he wants to make the same kind of music that made his band popular, so who knows...

Another bastardization of the English language

2005-06-22T18:47:00.000-03:00

So today I overheard a couple people talking, and one person was describing a fat person. The term they used was voluptuous. Now, you're probably gonna say "ya, so what?" Well voluptuous doesn't fucking mean fat. Now, we've turned a word that means sensuous and pleasing to the senses and made it synonomous with pudgy. We're trying to be nice, but why? Call it like it is. Don't fucking ruin a beautiful word just to save someone's feelings - it just ain't right.

Here's the definition: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=voluptuous

Now, I'm not saying that someone who is overweight can't be sexy. I'm just saying that not all fat people are sexy. Understand the words. I had a friend who - for god knows why - seemed just a little ashamed that she was skinny and gorgeous. We talked a lot and one day we had this exact same discussion. She said "Well, it's just being nice." Ya, but it destroys the language. Are we going to start calling burn victims luscious? No. Because that just doesn't make sense.

It all has to do with people trying to make everyone else feel good. You can make people feel good without lying to them. So what if a person is fat. Maybe they're cool and intelligent and funny. Maybe they're kind and generous. Maybe they make a good Centre in football. Maybe they make a good Elvis impersonator. Maybe they got all kinds of shit going for them. But you know one thing? THEY AREN'T FUCKING VOLUPTUOUS!

The people of Nantucket

2005-06-21T13:15:00.000-03:00

Today I decided to compile a list of the different types of people I've seen during my stay on this strange little island. Nantucket is an odd place filled with many different types of people. Actually, never mind. There's only 3. Rich people, working class people who stay year round and then immigrant workers - like me. The tourists don't count.

The rich people are the ones you notice most because there's so many. They all pretty much look and act the same. The girls all have the same sunglasses - the bastardized version of Jackie O sunglasses. The guys - or preppy douchebags, as I call 'em - pop their collars, wear mesh hats (i thought that abomination of a trend was over), have deck shoes, and find any and every excuse to wear bright pink. The older men wear faded red pants. Apparently it's the hideous thing to do when living in Nantucket. The older women all have pointy noses and have really noticeable botox injections.

The working class people look like normal working class people. Nothing to report here, really. Normal and bland is the name of the game.

Then there's the immigrants. Some of them are Jamaican, and they're pretty cool. I like the Rastafarian vibe (minus the homophobia. It just isn't nice). Then there's a bunch of Irish and Eastern Europeans, who look normal but have an accent.

Fat people really have a problem here. Seeing as most of the girls are rich and have eating disorders, they all look the same and have tight thin bodies. But, sometimes daddy's fat little secret can be spotted on main street. I actually feel bad for these girls. It's not like Saint John where any overweight heffer can blend in. These people stick out like yellow on black. And this goes for people who are just a little overweight. If you have fairly wide hips or are 20 lbs over weight, then consider yourself lower echelon. I actually feel bad for fat people.

There seems to be a tiny number of hippies and emo kiddies. When I do see one, they stick out just like the fatties. You can definitely tell that they're here for a short period of time - most likely to visit their family for the weekend. They have the most bewildered faces I've ever seen. You wanna see a rarely pissed off hippy? Come to Nantucket. The emo kids are always pissed off though, so no big deal. (Quick Joke: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter - they'd rather sit in the dark and cry.)

Here's a list of people I just had to point out. In no particular order...
- Preppy fucker: Had pink deck shoes, lime green short shorts, white t-shirt, aviator sunglasses and mesh hat that said "booty patrol".

- Preppy fuck #2: White Lacoste shoes, white shorts with blue whales on them, white polo shirt (popped collar) with blue vertical stripes, mesh hat, and he was smoking a fucking pipe. Jesus Christ...

- Colour co-ordinated family. Father: Pink pants that went to his ankles, REALLY baggy white dress shirt with no collar. Mother: same fucking deal, but her pants had floral design. The 6 year old child: Same deal, but wearing some sort of sea captain's hat - was walking 10 feet behind because you could tell that he was really embarassed to be alive.

- 10 year old girl who looked like Oscar the Grouch

- old woman with 90 billion botox injections in her face. It looked like she got stung by a thousand bees. I actually pointed and laughed. She was not amused.

- Jamaican man blasting homophobic music (it was really obnoxious) while driving an old dodge neon.

....That's all for now. Mind you, this is what I saw in the past 2 days. There's lots more, but I forget most others.

Chris' super happy fun time music mix

2005-06-19T22:59:00.000-03:00

Today at work I compiled a list of extremely fun songs that send me into a state of mindless enjoyment. When I'm home I'm going to make this into a CD and become the happiest kid on the block. Some of these are HUGE guilty pleasures, but whatever. You guys can add songs, or make your own lists or say which songs do it for you... or whatevs. I really dont care, I just wanna write this down and have the list available for when I need it.

le list

Singin' In the Rain -- quite possibly the happiest song ever.
Holla Back Girl - Gwen Stefani aka, my future wife
Banquet (Disco Edit) - Bloc Party
Come into my world (Fischerspooner mix) - Kylie
Living Dead Girl - Rob Zombie
You Spin Me Around - Dead or Alive (Lucas hates this song, but it's sooooooo funny and stupid)
Safety Dance - Men With Hats
I Ran - Flock of Seagulls (another terrible and mindless song from the 80s)
All Saints - Pure Shores (gross, I know. But the movie "The Beach" is fucking awsome)
Lost Proffets - Cry Me a River (a JT cover)
Foo Fighters - Darling Nikki (A Prince cover)
Queens of the Stoneage - Go with the Flow (dirty rock n' roll)
NIN - Closer (Dirtier rock n' roll)
The Animals - House of the rising sun
Heart - Baracuda
The Zombies - Time of the Season (quite possibly the coolest song ever)
Steve Miller - the Joker (Quite possibly the SECOND coolest song ever)
The Beatles - Paperback Writer
Blind Melon - No Rain (not really a happy song, but I always think of the bumblebee girl)
Kiss - Detroit Rock City
The Darkness - I believe in a thing called love (Hong, you remember Kaps singin to this???)
The Bravery - Honest Mistake
Beck - Devil's Haircut
Lil' Jon Featuring every fucking rapper out there - Get Low. (What can I say? I like getting low)

and that be she. I hope I remember to make this CD when I'm home.

Film Fest wrap up

2005-06-18T18:02:00.000-03:00

The film festival ends tomorrow, but my involvement is over... I think. I may have to go back tomorrow and drive some more people. Sadly, I didn't drive anyone famous, but I did see some people I recognized and met some really cool film makers. I think that talking to these two incredibly interesting ladies has pushed me into that direction. I mean, I like Poli Sci, but not in the serious way that so many of my class mates like it. And I have a feeling that the way I feel about politics could be communicated thru a medium like film. Who knows tho, right? Am i rite, folks??? I'm only 20 fucking years old. I keep telling myself that I got lots of time to figure this shit out.

Ah well. I met a girl who I was volunteering with. She's from Manhattan and was pretty cool. I was supposed to go to the beach with her once I was done driving movie people to the airport, but I seem to have lost her number and I'm not sure I remember her name. I think it's katy, but I live with a katy, and so I'm confused. How fucking typical. Ah well, I'm used to that sorta thing by now. Last night I was supposed to meet some movie people at the bar, but my ATM card didn't work. No money = no bar.

I just realized something. This is the longest I've gone without going to a bar in the past 3 years. It's been 8 weeks now, and no bar. Craziness.

Something is slipping...

2005-06-15T18:22:00.001-03:00

The past couple days have been... a little odd. My allergies have been acting up and so I've decided to medicate myself - exponentially. Today I have been feeling the effects. I've become slightly paranoid, and whenever I talk to someone or notice that someone is looking at me, I automatically start to think that this person is not being honest with me, are being sarcastic or have some sort of hateful agenda. It's kinda strange and hard to explain.

Also, I've had the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails stuck in my head for the past month or so. You'd think that it would drive me insane, but I dont think we're there yet. I have, on the other hand, become extremely horny. You try walking around all day with this chorus stuck in your head; "I wanna fuck you like an animal - I wanna feel you from the inside". Now tell me you wouldn't feel just a little bit titilated. It's frustrating. I'm not getting any play, so all these instinctual feelings are going to waste. You crazy womens, and your vaginas.... so hard to figure out sometimes...

On an extremely positive note, the film festival starts today. I dont have to do anything just yet but the tonight's film stars Bill Murray and Sharon Stone. There is a good chance that they will be here because it is the American premier. So, maybe I'll show up and slime Bill Murray or something. He'd find it funny because he'd understand that it was an homage to Ghostbusters.

Ok, I'm out to go find a barrel of slime and change my allergy medication.

Peace out, my homies.

Holy mother of fuck

2005-06-13T17:38:00.000-03:00

Someone shit on the goddamn floor of the motherfucking WOMEN's bathroom today. This was the fucking STAFF bathroom too. It was also the SECOND goddamn time in less than a week that someone did this. AND I HAD TO CLEAN IT UP!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! What makes it worse is that they stepped in the shit, then made poo foot prints all over the bathroom. This wasn't just a little dab of poo, either. It was a fucking giant turd, smeared all over the fucking floor of the women's staff bathroom.

What bothers me the most isn't the fact that they didn't clean it. It's the fact that they didn't even seem to notice that they stepped in their own feces. Oh, and HOW CAN YOU MISS THE FUCKING TOILET WHEN YOU'RE TAKING A SHIT?!?!?!?!?!?!? I know women hover when shitting and pissing, but jesus-christ-on-a-stick, how the fuck can someone manage to miss the toilet by a foot?!?!?! You'd have to be leaning up against the fucking door of the stall, standing upright, and have the bizarre ability of torpedo turds, blasting from your ass and into the toilet.

So I looked at the footprints. The shape of a tennis shoe was quite distinct. So I spent a great deal of time, studying my female co-workers this afternoon. I deduced that it could have been one of 4 people. 2 of these people are quite slim. I'm thinking that it's a fat person because I would expect that only a fatass wouldn't be able to see down past their gunt and onto the freshly browned floor of the stall. So. It was 1 of 2 people. And, man oh man, if you saw the two people who could have done this, you would agree with me and assume that only ______ did it. You can tell that the other lady doesn't like to shit in public places - she has a little humility. I am about 80% sure it was _____. You never know. Some spiteful whore may have decided to come into the staff bathroom and shit on the floor. Stranger things have happened...

I'm thinking about bringing this up at the staff meeting tomorrow. "Yes, I'd like to ask that the ladies of the museum staff to please be careful in the bathroom. We have what would seem to be a turd burglar on the premisis. This individual likes to leave feces on the floor and not tell anyone about it. So ladies, be on the lookout for floor borne poo, and make sure your shoes don't get all shittered. AND FOR FUCK SAKES, WHOEVER IT IS, KNOCK IT OFF! START SHITTING AT YOUR OWN GODDAMN HOUSE. YOU'RE TOO FUCKING FAT AND INEPT TO USE THE FUCKING STALLS. YOU'RE SHITTING ON THE FLOOR AND MAKING LIFE REALLY SHITTY FOR THE REST OF US, ESPECIALLY ME BECAUSE I HAD TO KNEEL DOWN IN YOUR SHIT WITH A GODDAMN RAG AND MOTHERFUCKING BLEACH FOR 20 GODDAMN MINUTES, YOU VILE AND DISGUSTING PIRATE HAG........ K, I'm done. Thank you for your time."

Do you think that would be ok? Or should I just send a memo?

this evening...

2005-06-10T20:45:00.000-03:00

...I am getting shittered with the roomies. The Slovakian roomy has an interesting brand of plum wine that she smuggled from home. It is 45% and smells like the pits of hell. I look forward to shooting it. I have bought my usual bottle of Jag, and plan to consume it to the best of my abilities.

Funny note about the liquor store; they IDed me, then SWIPED it on their little machine thinger. As the alcohol lady was swiping, I said, "that may not work because it is Canadian". She said, "Oh, well I'm just checking to see if it scans." I just shrugged, payed and left. If she swipes, she sees that I'm underaged. If nothing comes up (like I think should be the case) then she should at least look at my ID. She did not look at it. She just went thru the motions and gave me booze.

I think I'll give her a thank-you card next time I'm in there.

Roomy #4 is here

2005-06-09T23:58:00.000-03:00

Eva has arrived. She is from Slovakia and works in the museum gift shop. I don't know what to make of her yet. She showed up late tonight and then pretty much just went to her room and hasn't been seen since. Most people might find that rude, or at the very least anti-social. I thought about it and decided it was rather sensible. She just finished a 10 hour plane trip, then had to endure the bus from Boston to the Cape, then had to ride a ferry for 2 hours. Compound that shitty reality with having to fein civil conversation with a bunch of new kiddies from the other side of the world who don't speak your language and may or may not be interesting. I would never do that when I was sleep depraved, let alone completely sober.

Thus, I think I'm going to get along with this girl. She was polite and pleasant during the brief time that I spoke to her. I imagine she'll want her sleep and privacy for now. Tomorrow I'll take her grocery shopping (it's my day off tomorrow - Hazaa!) and perhaps we can get to know one another over coffee or whatever.

Sadly, she was not what I had pictured - but we must remember that my imagination is scarred by movies and internet porn. When somone told me that a central European chick with the sexy name of "EVA" was moving in with me, I pictured Nadia from "American Pie". Fat-fucking-chance, MacGregor... She seems ok though. Not hideous or anything. The other image I imagined was of a short, fat, disagreeable hag. She is neither a super model, nor a gremlin. So.... I guess "normal" is the operative word.

I now have an internet connection. Katee decided she'd hook her laptop up to the phone line, and VOILA, I am writing to you all at 11pm. No more relying on the goddamn library.

Oh, and before I forget. Can anyone inform me of any new music and/or music videos that have been in circulation lately? My pop culture connections are suffering right now, due to the lack of MUCH MUSIC and club/bar adventures. I just know Gwen Stefani has a new video and she's struttin' around in some tight clothes like that banana song (holla back girl) video. My gawd, that video and song is liek fucking CRACK. I'm going to kill Gavin Rosedale in his sleep then make Gwen my new wife.

Yes... that's the way it was meant to be.... she will be mine... along with Natalie Portman, Salma Hayek and .............. I have to go

It's hot as balls

2005-06-08T15:57:00.000-03:00

I've been out in the sun all day and my face feels like it was in an oven.

I've had at least a gallon of water, but I think it was sweat out already.

I'm going home now to take a couple benadryls and drink a 6 pack.

Laterz...

Film Fest update

2005-06-06T18:08:00.000-03:00

Just went and talked to the film fest people. They want me to be a driver and pick people up from the airport and drop them off places. You know who gets picked up from the airport? Important people. You know who's important people? MOTHERFUCKING MOVIE STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem...

I think I just wet myself.

Time for more overtime. WOOO!!!!

MOVIE STARS, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Weekend Recap

2005-06-06T13:52:00.000-03:00

Friday night was devoted to sittin and chillin and trying to stay awake. The roomies had to work the next day so we weren't about to go "balls to the walls" - as they say in Milan (eh, Lucas?). Katee and I watched "House of Glass" and let me say this: Leelee Sobieski has a delectable rack. Goodness gratious me... Her boobies saved the movie from being terrible. So many friggin flaws and stupid plot developements.

Saturday was ok. I saw "Cinderella Man" and I think it is the greatest Boxing movie of all time. Better than "Rocky" and "Raging Bull", most definately. After the movie we had some of the other museum kiddies over. They are very pleasant. I like them. We drank and I got a little shittered. I was completely under control till 1:30, at which point I started to fall asleep. So, I went to bed. It seems that a bottle of Jag and 4 beers is like drinking a fucking bottle of NyQuil. hurrah! Got the best sleep I've had in a month.

Sunday I went to the beach. It was very nice. The sun was out and I think it was close to 80 degrees. The beach is a great way to walk off a hangover - accompanied by a couple Red Bulls. I didn't get to see Bobby (the internet friend) but I'm sure I'll see him in the next day or two.

I suppose that's all for now. I'll try to think about something interesting for the next post. This time around has been lacking. I have to cope with other humans right now, so it's hard to spend time thinking about other things. Gah... humans...

Saturday 4:35 update

2005-06-04T17:35:00.000-03:00

It's my second time to the libizaryaryo and it has turned hot and sunny. I am - as they say in France - le pumped. I think a trip to the bizeach is in order later. Oh, and my friend whom I know from the interconnects is coming tomorrow. I know, I know, it sorta sounds wierd saying that I know people from the internet... but whatevs. I figure things'll be fine. He's a cool guy as far as I know. I planned on just getting drunk to relax, but he said he doesn't want to drink just yet. He's not a lame-o. He's a cop. And underage. So it would be bad (yet hilarious) if he were stumbling around the island drunk with me.

hahahah, alright time to go.

The Saturday noon time update

2005-06-04T12:54:00.000-03:00

Alright, so I'm here because I have nothing better to do. It's raining and I am remarkably pissed about that. I want to go to the beach and wear my new sunglasses. Apparently it's sunny and 82 degrees in Boston today. They tell me that's hot. Fuckin farenheit douchebags... I'll never figure this shit out.

I made a bank account today. I am now a member of the Bank of America. My Canadian soul is slowly being overtaken. Woo hoo. Yesterday I bought booze and drank with Katee (one of the roomies) and watched a tv movie. It was mediocre.

I think there has been a strange side effect of having roommates again. Lucas and I talked about this yesterday over the phone (when the roomies were out, of course). I don't really know these people all that well yet, so I can't really introduce them to the real Chris. I have to be polite and not talk about coat hanger abortions and make homosexual inuendo jokes. I've kept in so many spooge jokes - I think I'm about to burst all over the place. heh heh... This shit didn't matter when I was alone. I could just call Lucas or say these things out loud and laugh to myself. Now I gotta think twice about the insanely bizarre things that come to mind. It fuckin sucks. I need to live with extremely perverted extroverts who can casually talk about the socio-economic relationship between the East and West and quickly segue into a fart joke. This polite shit has got to stop.

Hmm.... it appears I need more coffe. That last sentence took too long to type.

Chris' Overtime Adventure

2005-06-01T19:27:00.000-03:00

ok, so I've got a few minutes. I've stumbled into working overtime tonight and I never thought that I'd say this; It's fucking awsome.

They didn't ask me to stay, it's just that they keep giving me shit to do, which on paper sounds stupid and rediculous. But, it's awsome cuz I get to drive trucks and shit. Also, they got me to drive to the liquor store to get beers. Apperently at the Nantucket Historical Association they need beers for overtime. Saaaweet. So I bought some Moslon Export. Gotta rep Canada in every way possible.

Alright, I'm off to do whatever... and drink beers while I'm doin it. This is the best fuckin summer job evar.

Bow down before me for I am your GOD!

2005-05-31T19:14:00.000-03:00

In the US, they read ID's Month/Day/Year. In Canada, they read ID's Day/Month/Year

My ID says 02/11/84

My new birthday is now Feb. 11th, 1984. I scratched out the part that indicates how to read the ID, and it wasn't noticeable enough for the liquor dude to see it. Now I have a steady source of alcohol.

Plus, I bought gold Elvis Pressley sun glasses.

Tis a good day to be alive. I'm so clever.

Saturday morning cartoons suck these days...

2005-05-28T13:51:00.000-03:00

...so here I am in the library again.

An old lady just walked into the library and she stank like old person - stale aspirin and airy farts. You know what I'm talking about... the sick people smell that you only find in hospitals. Gawd. I think I got the hiv just by smelling her.

My roommate is supposed to arrive sometime this afternoon - possibly in the next 20 minutes. I'm way to decaffeinated to deal with something like that right now. I'm gonna go get my hair cut soon too and possibly dye my hair darkish brown. This blonde deal isn't working out at all.

I wish I had the balls to dye my hair green or blue or pink or something. I'd be soooo cool - probably the coolest kid on cool street.

I need coffee bad. I'm getting these wicked headaches now whenever I dont have at least 2 huge cups a day. It's not a good scene.

Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, why am I getting all these fucking emails from people who I deleted/blocked from my MSN list? They're these emails like "Hi! I'm updating my address book. Can you reply and be part of my super happy fun-time gay internet group?" And I'm all like "no ways, bitches. Your friggin internet groupy thing does not intrigue me in the slightest. Now step off, whore."

or something like that. So what are those things, anyways?

****UPDATE****

The new roommate arrived with her mother moments after I initially typed this entry. She seems ok - I think her name is Katie. She's from Pennsylvania, has blond hair, is pretty attractive. I'm at a internet cafe right now (the liberry was closed). It appears that she and her mother quietly slipped out of the house while I was completely unaware. I dont know where they went, but I'm sorta perturbed by this event. Ah well... whatevs. More time for me.

They better be out curing cancer or secretly fighting crime like Batman or somethin...

I'm officially a wetback

2005-05-27T17:14:00.000-03:00

WOO! I got my social security card! I am officially an immigrant worker taking jobs and money away from decent, hard working Americans! YEEHAW!

Oh, and I get a roommate tomorrow. It's a chick. So I gotta clean the house - so that means no more spitting on the rug and wandering around the house naked with food stains on my face... Hopefully she's cool and not a wiener and/or psycho. I'm sure the Nantucket Historical Association has a good wiener/psycho screening process.

Then again... they let me in.

Anyone got some advice for breaking the ice with this new person? I just planned on getting drunk and making leud remarks about her rack. Perhaps I'll fart a lot too. What do you guys think?

I have a timeshare with Jim Morrison and Atilla the Hun on the River Styx

2005-05-25T17:41:00.000-03:00

As many of you know I'm not the most religous lad in the land. But, I often find myself thinking about it. Ever since I was 7 or 8 (I can't remember which) I had a problem with the whole "Heaven and Hell" scenario. It just doesn't seem to make sense.

My initial problem was that my Catholic upbringing taught me that God will forgive you for whatever you do, so long as you repent. I also learned that you can only get into heaven if you accept Jesus as your lord. That's where I started to smell some bullshit. Around that age, I had also learned about Ghandi. He seemed like a nice guy, in fact, I was pretty sure he was a great guy. Problem was, he wasn't Catholic - so he'd burn in hell. It wasn't fair!

So, I asked my mom, "why wouldn't Ghandi get into heaven? He did so many great things. " My mom said that he probably would get into heaven because he was good. I was confused because the 10 commandments seem to go against Ghandi, especially the first one (only one god, the true god, yaddy yadda - I hear it's the most important one). I said that to my mom, and she instinctively told me to go watch TV or do my homework... or something like that.

So, if good people werent getting into heaven, things were getting pretty shitty in my opinion. But, then I learned about Lucifer and how he was a fallen angel and how he governs Hell. Now, if Lucifer was a FALLEN angel, why would he get such an important job? It seems like he's got an agreement with God to take care of all the assholes and puppy killers in the world. But, if they had a falling out, wouldn't God get someone else to govern hell? You know, save it for someone more trustworthy?

Then it occured to me, after I realized that OUR picture of Hell is from Dante's Inferno, which was created LOOOOOOOOng after the bible, I realized that we really don't know what Hell is like, even if there is a Hell. So, my belief is based on the Lucifer/Fallen Angel deal. Try to follow me here, this one's hard to follow (just like regular faiths...) Let's assume that there is a God, and the Christians got it right and Jesus died for us and all that other crap. Since Lucifer seems to have free reign over Hell, don't you think he'd try to piss God off as much as he could? The guy was kicked out of paradise, so it would make sense to me that he'd try to tick Big G off as much as he could. I think he would operate under the guise of spite and turn Hell into a swanky tropical libertarian society. All the best Rock groups would be there. All the best drugs would be there. People could have guilt free sex and party all night long. Lucifer's realestate people would be selling land along the River Styx and everything would be a good time. God would be so pissed.

But that's probably not true and the whole Lucifer/Fallen angel theory is probably defunct too. I'll just bet on some sort of eternal universal spark deal, like on the Transformers. When we die, we return to the Matrix. It's wicked awsome, plus, when in our darkest hour, the Autobots will used the Matrix to rid the universe of evil and extiguish the flames of kitty killers everywhere.

Sounds good to me. All hail Optims Prime!

Sorry, my lovlies

2005-05-25T13:23:00.000-03:00

I know it's been a little while since I posted something, but it's been a bit busy. Lucas, you'll have to get the ants out of your pants, but here's a new post to make everything alright. Saturday I worked a little bit of overtime and last night - though I had full intentions of posting all day - I was asked to move some wood planks at my boss' house after work. I didn't get home till after the liberry closes, so I had no way of posting.

The after work money opportunity was great. My boss provided beer - it was the really good kind of beer too. Then his old hipster friends came over and we ate pizza and played cards. There's something strange yet very enjoyable about hanging around with 40 and 50 something year old hipsters. It was a good time to say the least - plus I got $60!!!

I'll have another post ready tonight. It's a thinker... maybe...

gah

2005-05-21T13:06:00.000-03:00

I've become a light-weight. Yesterday after work I took 2 maximum strength Benadryls so that my nose would stop running. It worked. Then I called Lucas and we talked for a bit and I had a couple beers. Then I had a couple more. I became very wobbly and incoherent. Then at around 7pm (i think) I passed out.

I woke up 5 minutes before midnight and was extremely confused.

Now I gots a headache.

Seth Cohen is a chump

2005-05-20T17:50:00.000-03:00

I am cooler than Seth Cohen, and here is why: Seth Cohen was reading "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" on the season finally of "The OC". A couple of posts ago (ie: a few days ago) I told everyone how I bought said book, and am currently reading it. If Seth Cohen read it AFTER me, I am therefore cooler, and he is a poser and obviously reads my blog and is obsessed with me.

If you question my logic you will suffer the pain of a thousand deaths by way of gorilla rape.

I'm proud of not being proud

2005-05-17T19:00:00.000-03:00

The other day while returning by bus from Boston, I saw a man on the street with a leather jacket that had a huge American flag on the back. Instantaneously, the man's voice appeared in my head: "I'm PROUD to be an American". It was accompanied by the horrible southern, twangy accent. I then proceeded to have an internal debate that got me somewhat angry at society (not very unusual, I know).

People are proud of what they are, and I often wonder why. I have only met a few people over the course of my life that genuinely deserve to be proud of what they are.

I should probably explain the value that I place on "pride". Pride should be afforded to an individual who accomplishes something that is significantly impressive. BEING and American only means that you pay taxes and vote in a place that you were fortunate to be born. You're not achieving anything. You're not even doing anyting remotely impressive. The fact that your parents fucked in the back seat of a chevy in Iowa should not make you proud. I suppose you should be glad that you weren't born in Mozambique or Sudan, but why be Proud about it? You didn't DO anything.

Some of the people who should be genuinely proud of what they are are brain surgeons, upstanding politicians, human rights activists, firefighters, etc. These people ACCOMPLISHED something that is hard to achieve and they have a positive daily effect on the lives of the people they touch.

Here's another example of unwarranted Pride. A man exclaims "I'm proud to be GAY!" Now, before you accuse me of being a homophobe (and you all know i'm not) here's my issue. How can being gay garner pride? He didn't accomplish anything by being gay. All he does is choke on dicks. It's the same thing about me being straight. It has no bearing on the world around me. Hell, I dont even know if I can be SATISFIED, let alone proud about my sexuality and love life... or lack thereof. But, I am what I am. The only person I can think of that should be proud of their sexuality is Jenna Jameson, but that is only because she can suck cocks better than anyone I've ever seen. Anyone after her is just immitating.

The problem is rampant in our society. People are told outright to be proud of themselves. From the moment when we are praised by our parents after we took our first dump on the potty to the moment we get a pension for being a satisfactory employee, we are taught that we are GREAT, but in reality, we are not. Albert Einstein was great. Martin Luther King was great. Wayne Gretsky was great (it's his fucking nickname!). These people achieved something. They are better than the average dude. But, for some reason, we want everybody to feel great about the stupid shit that they and a monkey can do.

The biggest part of the problem, in my eyes, is that this mentality leads to a heightened sense of self entitlement. People think they deserve praise and adolation because of what they are. It's all because we think people should have lots of self esteem - all the time. The problem is, the jerks and assholes who already have enough self esteem are given more until they command respect all the time. I know someone (no names) who steals shit and always wants attention when in the room. They think that everything they do and say is worthwhile and they think that everyone owes them something and should kiss their ass. They were spoiled as a child (still are) and now they think everyone should suck up to them like their parents did. This isn't a singlular example either. There are tons of people exactly like this. They're proud of themselves despite a huge lack of personal accomplishment, or even basic worth to the rest of society.

So what do I have to be proud of? I am a Canadian. I feel FORTUNATE for this. I live in relative luxury. I also feel fortunate for that. I accomplish slightly above average marks in school. Am I proud? Not really. I didn't work very hard and there are LOTS of people who have better grades.

I think people should just accept who they are and be happy. Once pride comes into the game, everything gets fucked up and all of a sudden we have Americans thinking that the world should back them up in a war for the single fact that they are Americans.

anyways, I'm done. This got waaaay too long and I bet hardly anyone read it.

(NOTE: I know that I left out the feeling of being proud for someone else. This is about personal pride. It's totally different.)

So I went to Boston...

2005-05-16T13:11:00.000-03:00

Friday night I was feeling sad and dejected - not to mention REALLY FUCKING BORED. Lynn informed me that she was not coming to Nantucket any time soon, so I'm going to be sans companion for another week or so. So in my state of annoyance and fatigue, accompanied by a slight beer buzz, I said to myself, "Fuck it. I'm NOT going to be bored for ANOTHER weekend while I'm here. I'm going to Boston!"

So, the next day I boarded the 6:30am ferry to Hyanis and took the 9:30 bus to Boston. It was about 9:30 that I woke up and realized what the hell I was doing. I only had about $100 and knew nothing about Boston or even which stop I was supposed to get off at. But, then I muttered to myself a phrase that seems to have become my mantra: "Fuck it". Yes, I didn't care if I got lost or lost my money. I was going to have some kind of adventure no matter what.

So, the trip actually went smoothly. I got to South Boston without a problem. I went in and out of the varoius shops and boutiques, the large department stores and the Market (which puts the SJ market to shame, I might add).

I went to Macy's to buy a Lacoste golf shirt, but then quickly ran out of the store extremely pissed off. A fucking golf shirt with a little gator on the left breast costs $70. What the hell? But, then I realized that I was being far to particular of a shopper to be annoyed by such a thing. With that mentality I should have been satisfied with the first shirt that I saw. So, after making myself feel like a douchebag consumer, I decided to check out the huge book store that was a shocking replica of the Canadian "Chapters". I got 2 books - "Mother Night" by Vonnegut and "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" by Chuck Klostermann. The Klostermann book is a group of essays about sociology and pop culture. He talks about Porn, video games, Saved By the Bell among other things, and tells us why these things are more than what they are at face value. He actually made a stimulating argument about reality TV that validates its existence. The scary thing about this guy is that he thinks exactly like me but is way more intelligent and articulate. Anyways, I highly recommend the book.

I also bought a CD - Deltron 3030. Great rap album that features Del tha Funky Homosapien, kid Koala and Dan the Automator. It's really really good.

Anyways, I had a lot more thoughts and ideas during the day, but I will mention them later.

I'd still hit it...

2005-05-11T17:34:00.000-03:00

Natalie Portman shaved her frickin head. http://www.natalieportman.com/picstemp/baldnat.JPG

Sad, sad day... she looks like a junkie now. Anyone ever notice that when women shave their heads, they're automatically compared to Sinead O'Connor? That's such a slap in the face. It's like telling an AIDS patient that they have AIDS when they already know. "I know I'm ugly, but you dont have to make it worse by comparing me to the potato hag".

Despite all that, Portman will still be my wife one of these days, I'll just have to strike when the hair grows in. Or wait, I should strike now while everyone is concentrating on her freakish scalp! Once the hair grows back in, I'll be on easy street and she'll think I'm cool because I'm not shallow and judge people on looks... hahaha... yeeeess....

On another note, I just learned that Nantucket has a film festival every June. I also found out that I can volunteer for said festival. Big stars come to this thing too, like Will Ferrel this year, and Jim Carey and Zach Braff last year. If I could meet and talk to someone like that, I think I would lose bladder control out of excitement.

I'm reminded of Home

2005-05-07T14:14:00.000-03:00

"How could you be reminded of SJ when you're in Nantucket?" you ask. It's quite easy, actually.

It's windy, rainy and cold today.

I have the weekend off right now, and it will be like this until the end of May. So... hurrah? I dunno, it's kinda boring right now, seeing as my roommates have not arrived yet and I dont really know anyone around here. So, here I am, at the Liberry, getting lost on the interweb. Doesn't sound much different than what I would be doing in NB. Ah, reminders of home.

On another note, I've noticed some funny things with the office dynamic at my work. Try to follow me with this one, it may not make a lot of sense. I've noticed that, in the office, there is a distinct lack of hotties and a rather large influx of old ladies. But, there are a couple who aren't pushing 40, and they have become "hot by comparison". Well, only one of them is hot by comparison. The other one is sitll really hurtin'. But this one girl, if held to a regular scale of hottness would probably be stuck at a generous 6. Let us remember that the scale is from 1 to 10. Considering the office dynamic, though, she has been bumped to a 9 because there is no one better looking than her. We won;t give here a 10 though, seeing as 10 marks perfection and that is nigh impossible to achieve.

It's funny how that stuff works. Anyone else notice these things, or am I taking too many crazy pills again. This is the stuff that I think about at work. I get left alone quite a bit, and the mind tends to wander. Hahahah, it also keeps me from doing a good job. I love absent mindedness.

I was informed that my cousin Lynn may be coming to Nantucket to look for a job, or at the very least she may come for a brief visit. That would be hella-cool. If none of this happens I will be extremely pissed off because there is not a lot to look forward to until the end of May. The end of May marks the time where there will be lots of rich bikini-clad hotties at the beach. Then I can initiate part 1 of the plan... mwahahahahahahah

My House is Bi-Polar

2005-05-05T08:59:00.000-03:00

Ok, I know that I told all of you that my new place is really cool, and awsome and tits, but it has another side to it. Day time, the place is soooo cool. Night time... not so cool.

My first night in it was not that fun. You see, there are no light fixtures in the ceilings - only lamps. That makes lots of shadows, which in turn makes Chris creeped out in the middle of the night. Also, there is no phone line. When I walk into my house, I'm completely cut off from everything. The washer and dryer are possessed and jump. The furnace likes to emanate an oily smelling smoke at night... which is great because I've never dealt with a furnace before so the irrational side of my brain thinks that I'm either going to suffocate in my sleep or burn in a fire.

Other than that... it's all good. The guy who was there before me left me 8 beers. Also, I got all my paperwork done and I can just relax now. That's all for now. It's time for work.

PAT and GILL, I responded to your comments in the comment box.

First Day of Work

2005-05-02T17:59:00.000-03:00

Just did the first day of work routine. Sadly, I wasn't hungover for it. That's the first time I havn't been hungover for the first day of a new job. Hurrah.... ? Anyways, all of the other typical first-day things happened. I met so many people, and only remembered 3 names. Luckily, I remembered my boss' name. Scott. He seems.... ok, as far as I know. He says Fuck a lot, which is cool. But, he's sorta all over the place. I dunno, he seems alright. Then there's the other first-day things, like not knowing where anything is, orientation bullshit and not knowing what you should be doing at any given time... I think I made it through that junk alright.

I still have lots to take care of for my Work Visa. It seems that I need a Social Security Number, and I need to complete all kinds of sheets in 10 days. Trouble is, SS numbers are hard to get and they don't magically appear. More trouble, people at the museum head office don't really appreciate my need to leave the island tomorrow so that I can get my SS number. For some reason, the only place you can do this is off the island. Woo hoo. But, I will talk to the head dude tonight, and everything SHOULD be taken care of and I can get on to moving into my new place and drinking beer and slacking.

I found out that I'll be working 6 days a week. I dont know how to feel about that. I work 4 days during the week, and half days on Saturday and Sunday. This makes things EXTREMELY difficult to get a second job and also to get away for a weekend. Having said that, the day off in the middle of the week is enticing. Apparently I get to choose the day off that I want. Perhaps I should take Mondays off so that I get Sunday afternoons and Mondays all free? Me thinks that is a good idea.

On a positive note, I have a single room as opposed to the double room that I had earlier anticipated. The house is sorta nice. Fully furnished and all that jazz. Now all I have to do is move into it and get to the beer drinking. I bought 24 cans of Moosehead at the Can/Am border and it is sitting next to my luggage giving me the stink eye. It feels bad that it is hasn't been drank.... drinked? Drunk? hmm.... I've gone retarded.

That's all for now. I'm at the Milligans' house right now, so I dont know how frequent my posts will be. I wont have access to their house very often and I dont know where the internet cafe is...

Leaving Tomorrow

2005-04-28T18:55:00.000-03:00

I got the work visa and all that shit today. The only step that's left is the process at the border. Hopefully that will go as planned. I'll be leaving tomorrow, so that means no more MSN, TV or phone. I'll post on here once every day or so, provided that I have something exciting to say. I'm gonna miss some stuff here in NB, but it's not like I made it a secret that I really wanted to leave. I hope everyone has a great summer, and I'll be in touch through Emails. I expect that you all leave me some emails too, in case something huge happens or if you just want to drop a note.

Holy crap, I'm so excited.

A New Summer Look?

2005-04-26T20:00:00.000-03:00

I'm dying my hair blonde right now.... on my own... without adult/girly supervision. I've never done this before on my own. Hopefully I dont fuck it up royally.

I'm only doing this because I'm super bored.

I may or may not have pics of this. Depends on how shitty it turns out. Wish me luck!

KEGGER PICTURES!

2005-04-24T20:50:00.000-03:00

The night was a success. It was a good way to send Brent off. We're gonna miss him as a roommate, but he's going on to bigger and better things and lots of money in Edmonton.

SHINANIGANS! Al is on the left. The person on the right has requested that we not divulge their true identity. We'll just call him Mr. Dodge... no wait, Jon D.
Posted by Hello

2005-04-24T20:49:00.000-03:00

heeeey sexy. That's me and Jon.
Posted by Hello

2005-04-24T20:48:00.000-03:00

Hey look! GIRLS KISSING!
Posted by Hello

2005-04-24T20:47:00.000-03:00

Ryan and Kevin. Ryan is cultured.
Posted by Hello

2005-04-24T20:45:00.000-03:00

Justin and Shannon. Many pictures were taken of Justin and that was the most flattering one.
Posted by Hello

2005-04-24T20:42:00.000-03:00

Me and Diamond Dave. He's an exchange student from England and he's always a great time.
Posted by Hello

KEGGER

2005-04-23T17:55:00.000-03:00

Exams went fine. I was the second person done my Women's Lit exam... dont know if that's good or bad... dont care. I'm tired of talking about exams. I'll be wasted soon from keg beer. Jon is making the trip up to F'ton, so that's great. I'll be home tomorrow - in a limbo of sorts. I don't really know when I'll be leaving for Massachusets. Hopefully people will be around to have a good time. I dont think it matters if they aren't. Thats the reason I'm leaving for the summer - there's nothing fun to do and the town ingrains laziness on its inhabitants.

I'll try to get pictures of the night. I can guarantee shinanigans.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Song of the moment: INXS - I need you tonight. Hahahha, the 80's...

I am not enthused

2005-04-22T13:23:00.000-03:00

I'm supposed to be studying right now... but fuck it. I dont want to.

I wrote my exam in "The Politics of Work and Globalization" today - or as I call it, "Commy Class". The material is ok, but it's with the douchebag professor. I think the exam went reasonably well. I took the full two hours and said as much as I possibly could on the subject. Plus, the prof handed back two essays from the semester - I got B's... so the outcome on my exam is somewhat inconsequential as it is only worth 20%. Unless I get a D+ or lower... which shouldn't happen.

Afterwards, I got my free Xtra Large coffee at Tim's and then checked my bank account. I was not happy to find that I only have 6$ left. Not good. I cannot buy beer after my exam tonight. Looks like I'll have to huff shoe polish or something... I WILL BE GETTING FUCKED UP TONIGHT, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER.

Also, I checked out the status of my work VISA. Looks like it's still being processed and I may or may not get it by May 1st. No one really knows. Not good either. I'm supposed to start work May 1st, and my parents wanted to get me to Nantucket well before then... oh well. Looks like I'll have to inconvenience them again.

But never fear. My kegger just arrived. I'll be able to drink that tomorrow during the party. That's all I have to be happy about at this point...

Well, on to studying for Women's Lit. The exam is at 7pm. Wish me luck!

Be well everyone.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Band of the moment: Neutral Milk Hotel. A harmonious melange of electronic folk. Yes... I just said electronic folk. If you like The Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes and/or the Shins, you should dig these guys.
I reccomend the songs: The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1, Two-headed Boy, Comely, Holland 1945, and Ghost.

2005-04-20T14:19:00.000-03:00

Catholics just got Zinged! Pope Zinger was a NAZI!!!
Posted by Hello

New Pope, eh?

2005-04-19T17:08:00.000-03:00

The new Pope was selected today. Ratzinger, from Germany. Garnett tells me he chose the name "Pope Benedict the 16th". I was sorta disappointed by the name. It should be something nifty like "Pope Razzy the Radical" or "Pope Zinger". I'd definately repent and become Catholic again if he started calling himself Pope Zinger. I must admit, Matt brought up a good point though. Benedict sounds tastey.

And what's this deal with getting to choose your own name? Man, that sounds like a sweet deal. I'd definately call myself Super Dude. Then I'd have an excuse to wear a cape.

Anyone ever notice how close the word "Pope" sounds like "poop"? I dont think people thought that one out very well...

Back to studying.
Be well my poppets. (this was my lame attempt at coming up with another word that sounded like Pope. I apologize for being lame)

Quicky

2005-04-18T18:12:00.000-03:00

Got lots of studying to do today, but in my procrastination I've found some cool stuff. This should make up for my lack of good posts. I'm going to steal a line from American History X - the writer of the movie probably stole it from someone else too. Why bother trying to come up with something profound or important when someone smarter than you has already said it best?

So, here are a few quotes...

A LIBERAL DECALOGUE By Bertrand Russell
"Perhaps the essence of the Liberal outlook could be summed up in a new decalogue, not intended to replace the old one but only to supplement it. The Ten Commandments that, as a teacher, I should wish to promulgate, might be set forth as follows:
1. Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
2. Do not think it worth while to proceed by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.
3. Never try to discourage thinking for you are sure to succeed.
4. When you meet with opposition, even if it should be from your husband or your children, endeavor to overcome it by argument and not by authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.
5. Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.
6. Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do the opinions will suppress you.
7. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
8. Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement, for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.
9. Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.
10. Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness."-- The Autobiography of Bertrand Russell, 1944-1969, pp. 71-2

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."-- Bertrand Russell

"Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler."-- Albert Einstein

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18."-- Albert Einstein

Destroy the sun!

2005-04-17T19:03:00.000-03:00

Who the hell are all these people running, laughing and playing in the sun? They look like students. They smell like students. They sure as hell are drunk like students...

But they can't be students. They don't seem to need to study, like ME! What the fuck, people? I couldn't study at the library because there's a huge window next to the study area and you can see all the smug bastards running and frolicking by. So after a couple of hours of studying, I went to Lincoln's. He was studying law too. I thought maybe we could bounce ideas past each other about what questions may be on the exam. But noooooooooooo, his house is surrounded by sunbathing broads in bikinis, and his house is like one big window. We both went nuts.

So here I am. Pissed about having to do this... schoool... thing... I've barricaded myself in my room. Closed the blinds, closed my door. I had to leave the window open, so that I may be able to breath good air.... and just this second, cigar smoke drifted into my room. Yes, the neighbours are drinking and smoking cigars.

I propose that we destroy the sky, like in the Matrix. Then I won't want to go outside, and I'll have nothing else to do but study. Ya... that makes sense... just as much as the Oakes Test in my Law Book.

1st Exam - Film

2005-04-16T09:41:00.000-03:00

Went pretty good I think. Took 10 minutes, as it should. Received bad news before the exam. The professor won't be coming back to UNB next year. That's a crying shame because he was one of two professors that I really liked at UNB. The other professor that I liked may not be coming back either. Hmm... I may need to transfer again...

On the bright side, I got an A- on my major film paper. Not frickin' bad, eh?

Ok, I'm more tired than all get out. Couldn't sleep last night. It's probably time for a nap.

HOORAY FOR PROCRASTINATION!

2005-04-16T00:03:00.000-03:00

I have a Film exam in less than 9 hours, and I havn't started studying. Can you say "over-confident in one's ability?" Seriously, it's film. I should be ok. The prof said that if I'm there longer than 20 minutes, then I obviously didn't attend class all semester. Ok... I'm over justifying my procrastination...

I also have a dirty confession. Though I've been acting like I've been done for a couple days, I racked my brains over a fucking Law essay, and finally finished earlier today. I had soooo much fucking time to do it too, but it was near impossible to get enough information for my topic... and I couldn't change the topic at this point because I had to do a preamble about it in March. So ya. This essay is just under 8 pages when it should be 10... and I fucked around with the font. BUT I TELL YOU! THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN SAY OR REPEAT.

Plus, I realised a few hours ago that I didn't leave enough time to study for my hardest exam (which is Women's Lit). It's the hardest because I did only a quarter of the readings and the Prof made it impossible to bullshit the exam. What makes things extra tough is that my second hardest exam is on the same day. So... I figure I'm going to cut study time for Canadian Foreign policy to make room for women's lit. That way I can try to bullshit some vague study notes from the books I didn't read. Also, I'm averaging an A in Canadian Foreign Policy. I can afford a lower mark.

Tra la la la... I'm wired on caffeine. I can't sleep. I'm listening to the Wedge on Much Music. The exam is in 8 1/2 hours. Still havn't looked at the notes. I'll do that in the morning. Wait... it IS the morning.

later kiddies.

oh my god oh my god!!!!

2005-04-14T14:16:00.000-03:00

THE NEW NINE INCH NAILS CD LEAKED TODAY

My pants are tight with excitement. I've been waiting for this CD for YEARS people. FUCKING YEARS. I've heard 2 songs already and I love them. PLUS! Dave Grohl (of Nirvana and Foo Fighters fame) is doing the drums on the album. 2 of my favorite musicians on one album. We are not worthy.

Expect a review in a few hours. My download has 40 minutes left on it.

This is truly a good day.

"I wanna fuck you like an animal". Oh, Mr. Reznor....

***EDIT*** If anyone wants me to send this to them, hit me up on MSN.
This is a great CD. It's called "With Teeth". Only one listen and I know that I love it (that's rare). It is somewhat different than the last CD, less angry and hard, but that cynical tone of disgust still remains.

The lyrics are exactly what they should be: "Peel off our skin, we're gonna burn off what we were to the ground - Fuck in the fire and we'll spread all the ashes around - I wanna kill away the rest of what's left - and I do. Yes I do - And she turns me on - she makes me real - I dont have to apologize - for the way I feel - And nothing can stop me now!" That's from "Sunspots". It's the obvious "fuck song" of the album. The beat slithers and creeps and then a pounding heavy synth bass hits. Then after that, the song explodes right as he says "And nothing can stop me now." At the end, the beat slows down and only the bass - toned down - runs on. Then silence. This is a perfectly executed song, and I'm in love with it already.

The other NIN motifs are present on the rest of the album: Lethargy, defeat, depression, disgust, and epiphany. The sense of confusion and frustration leads to epiphany brilliantly on "The Line Begins to Fade". That song becomes more and more beautiful every time I listen to it.

Dave Grohl's influence is definately present on a few tracks. It seems that his style conflicts with Trent Reznor at points, but I think it was a conscious decision to do that. A guy can't put out the exact same music for every CD. Grohl's talent helps the NIN sound evolve. I really liked Grohl's hard and powerful drums with the NIN sexy synth. It's a perfect mix.

Other songs have a distinct industrial sound. When I close my eyes I see German expressionism, and that is what Reznor often aims for. A fact that is always communicated thru his videos.

That's all I got for now.

Here are the standout songs:

You Know what you Are?
The Collector
With Teeth
Getting Smaller
Sunspots
The Line Begins to Blur
The Hand that Feeds
Every Day is Exactly the Same
Love is not Enough

Gill practically tied me down and made me do this...

2005-04-13T21:28:00.000-03:00

...not really. I have no will power though. So... ya

10 REALLY RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
1. I've never owned flip flops until last week (and I love them)
2. When I doodle in my notebooks in class, I always reach a point where I get really self conscious, and I hide whatever it was I was doodling
3. I love Kraft Dinner, and I dont care who knows it.
4. I wrote the book on how to be a Pack Rat.
5. The first CD I ever owned was Crash Test Dummies
6. I wish I had wings.
7. When I see someone yawn or scratch themselves, I yawn or scratch myself in the EXACT SAME PLACE.
8. I can get addicted to things really easily, but just as fast as I get addicted, I can lose all interest in said addiction.
9. I wear my sunglasses when it's rainy
10. I am painfully goofy, often to cover up the fact that I have some extremely serious thoughts, judgements and opinions.

9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
1. Be genuine in every way possible.
2. Understand my sense of humour.
3. make sure to tell me when I'm being a complete jackass.
4. Know when I need space (it's usually obvious anyway)
5. Must be able to engage in a conversation
6. Lets me do stuff with my friends
7. Have a cool family, preferably a wacky uncle or aunt.
8. Confident, but willing to show a vulnerable side from time to time.
9. (The most important) A smile that makes me forget about the world around me.

8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY
1. Walkman and lots of CDs
2. Wallet
3. Watch
4. my Adidas sneakers
5. chunk change
6. chap stick (my lips hurt REAL BAD!)
7. backpack (I feel wierd without it)
8. MY HAT!!! (I almost forgot)

7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
1. Country music
2. Cocky people who have no reason to be
3. People telling me what I ought to be doing
4. American Idol
5. Essays that I dont want to do
6. Stupidity
7. When I lose stuff. (I actually had a dream last night about a GIJoe that I lost a long time ago. I literally spent DAYS looking for that thing. Sometimes I still look for it. And... this isnt the first time I had a dream about finding it)

.6 PLACES I'VE VISITED OR INTEND TO
1. I intend to visite Europe, hopefully with a friend.
2. Also, New Zealand and Australia
3. and NYC.
4. Most of California
5. I have been to half of the US states, and half of the Canadian provinces
6. Also have been to the Caribbean. (it's over rated)

5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Travel
2. Sky Dive
3. Find someone that I can love (aw, I'm getting gushy)
4. Have a job that I like
5. Be truly happy with myself and everything around me.

4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
1. Spiders (It's more like a deep hatred)
2. violent thoughts
3. When I get the wind knocked out of me, I think, for a second, that I'm about to die.
4. Sometimes Im convinced that I have a medical condition, or that I'm getting sick when I'm really not. (I know this doesn't count as "being afraid", but f off. I cant come up with a #4.)

3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY
1. listen to music
2. drink Coffee
3. think about things I shouldnt be thinking about

2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW
1. Write my essay
2. twitch (I have to use the bathroom, but I want to finish this first)

1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW
1. I'd like to have a beer with George W. Bush. I bet he's a pretty cool guy when he's havin a beer. Politics aside, of course.

Music Video Website

2005-04-13T19:09:00.000-03:00

622 Music Videos of various bands

A little goody for all of you. Hopefully you find some cool videos you've never seen before. I certainly found a few that wont be airing on Much Music any time soon.

Ladies? I got some beachwear for y'all

2005-04-12T23:02:00.000-03:00

Wholesome Wear

Swimwear that highlights the face rather than the body and includes an undergarment with bright colors at the neck and shoulders to draw the eye to the face.
Ya, but what about "butterfaces"?

Seriously, if I saw someone wearing this, I'd be torn between pointing and laughing or liberating her from her oppressor.

Last Class Bash story thru photos

2005-04-12T13:03:00.000-03:00

So Last Class Bash went well, and by "well" I mean "I had lots of alcohol and got lost multiple times". We didn't get the Texas Mickey tho. I made due without it. Here are some photos from the end of the night.

This is Chris at 3am. This is Chris on a lot of alcohol: 1 pint of Jagg, 6 beers, and 3 double ryes and miscellaneous shots. Notice Chris' inability to stand on his own, and how the wall is his main method of staying vertical. Also, notice the really stupid look on his face.
Posted by Hello

2005-04-12T12:57:00.000-03:00

Oh, there's the other Chris. Showing some backdoor affection via sneak attack.
Posted by Hello

2005-04-12T12:55:00.000-03:00

Then Lincoln shows up, and everything goes to hell
Posted by Hello

New name for blog?

2005-04-10T02:24:00.000-03:00

I am somewhat dissatisfied with my current name. Chrismacgregor.blogspot.com seems sooo... well not me. I know it technically IS me, but I usually like to have fun with names and titles, and relegating my blogger to my old plain name seems un-Chris.

So, I am asking anyone who reads it to seriously come up with a goofy name. Something that I'd say, but you're saying it for me. If I dont like or use your ideas, don't be pussy hurt. Just make sure to update your links.

I was thinking along the lines of SuperDude, or Christo, but they're so tired and overused. I wanna head in a new direction. So, suggest away... I'm too tired to do it myself at the moment.

Porn is the topic of the day

2005-04-08T17:21:00.000-03:00

Porn is good!

What else can I say? He makes some *valid points.

*hilarious

I joined the impractical footwear club

2005-04-08T16:05:00.000-03:00

Yesterday my Mummy came to town and we had lunch and went shopping. It was fun! I figured I needed some new apparel for my Nantucket adventure this summer. Plus, I gotta look good if I am to follow through on my facetious plan. "What plan?", you ask. Basically, I'm going to find an impressionable young rich girl and knock her up and live off of her family fortune for the rest of my life.

So, I bought these really cool flip flops.

Lucas, I am sorry for selling out my principles and buying these. I'm also sorry for making fun of you for wearing them in the past. I got my first blister today too! Hurrah!

I also went to American Eagle. I know I know, I've always criticized this place before. Too many bright colours and smiling faces and smug looking bastard assholefuckercockpissasfhalikshf;akj shfKJH GAH! I HATE THAT PLACE! But they had the nicest green shirt. Seriously. You should see it! It's really nice.

and I had to buy matching shorts. Naturally

On top of those purchases I got new "kicks"... as the hip kids call them. They're much like the old ones, but slightly different: Black Adidas. Like there was a choice. I also got the new Bloc Party CD. I have been listening to it constantly. This band rocks me in ways that I can only describe by grabbing your crotch.

SO with that, I leave you, my children. Go out and enjoy the day by getting extremely drunk. It's beautiful outside. That's what I"m going to do. Me, Link and Kyle have a plan of drinking a Texas Mickey. Dont know if it's gonna go down, but we shall see. If it does, I'll be sure to tell you all aboot it.

New Gorillaz video

2005-04-06T19:31:00.000-03:00

Gorillaz

now make with the clicky. It's pretty good in my humblest of opinions. You all remember these guys right? They're the cartoon band that had David Albarn, Kid Koala, Del tha funky Homosapien, among other producers, working in perfect, yet goofy unison.

The lineup is somewhat different now, but from what I've heard from the new CD so far is pretty good. It's less cutesy than the previous album.

Oh Donna...

2005-04-06T16:45:00.000-03:00

I miss Donna. She was my Kindergarten girlfriend. She had brown hair and always wore pink. Her eyes were brown, and she had Winny Cooper type dimples.

She and her friends used to chase me and Jason all around the playground. And I'd let her tackle me. It made me feel... funny. She and I would play together and eat lunch together. Once I drew a picture of an owl and gave it to her. She gave me a kiss for it.

I remember one day we got married. It was the happiest day of my five year life.

Then the next day she married some other guy.

I was not impressed.

Fucking slut

Chris' pub crawl adventure

2005-04-02T19:28:00.000-04:00

Warning: this story isn't as crazy or fun as I thought it was before. You may find it rather boring, but I'll try to lie and exaggerate as much as possible... nah, just kidding. If you need cliffnotes, I'll just say that I hate retards.

THE STORY:

I drank a lot. A LOT. But was still relatively level headed (hurrah! I'm one step closer to functional alcoholism!). Justin on the other hand was extremely drunk and got kicked out of the bar. Sooooo, despite our arguments, we had to leave. It didnt make much sense to me though, Justin was drunk but not causing problems. The boucer's reasoning was that Justin's eyes were closed and squinty. JUSTIN'S EYES ARE ALWAYS SQUINTY!

Our arguments shot down, Justin and I went to get pizza. I chatted with some STU girl about the highland games for 15 minutes... why? I have no idea. She kept giving me wierd looks at the same time. I realised after it was because my arms and shirt were COMPLETELY covered in red and black ink. I had some some pretty sick shit written on me too.

After Justin said something very spitty and drunk to the girls, I realised it was time to go home. We walked by the 24hr breakfast place and I noticed about 15 of our friends in there. Somehow they mananged to walk by us at the pizza place without us noticing. Also, Dave Cave was with them. I forgot all about Dave, which is bad since he was staying with us.

So we went in, sat down, threw sugar at eachother, acted like drunk jackasses... you all know the drill. I had a cup of tea (Gill, I have you to thank for that. I'm hooked on the "centering" feeling it gives me), and it took a while for the waiter to get it to me, so it was free. Score.

So, we're starting to think about leaving and a group of 5 guys come and sit right next to our table and start hitting on our 9 or 10 girls. I thought it was funny because these guys were much more drunk than we were and getting no where with our girls. One of the guys goes over to another table and starts eating old leftover food from a previous group of people. I had done the same thing earlier. There were some good onion rings left, and they were tastey. When this guy does it, all the girls start doing girly things like "ewwwwwwww! OMG I CANT BELEIVE HE DID THAT GUYS!!! OMG, LIKE WOW!" and so on.

So I lean in...
Me: Hey guy, you should eat the onion rings. They're still good.
Him: What did you just say to me?
Me: You should eat the onion rings.
Him: You should suck my dick.
Me: Excuse me, what did you just say?
Him: I said suck my dick, faggot.

I turn and look at the people who are listening to this. Dave was right next to me, and I'm pretty sure he would destroy this guy. He had a rat face and a rat body, and I hope everything that's bad in life happens to him and him only. I dont know why he wass fixated on my sucking capacity, but he was. I sorta looked at Dave to say no. The girls were unimpressed. My first inclination was to grab the fork in front of me and jab it under his throat - buuuuuuuuuut, I didnt wanna make a scene, and I didn't think the people I was with would be impressed. You know, reputation is everything these days...

I said, "Well I dont really think your dick would taste that good mon frere. But those onion rings taste awsome. Now, sit down."

I turned around and he just stood there for another minute or so, then leaves. I tell you, I have no faith in humanity anymore. Who says that, right out of the blue?

Compoud that hilarity with the fact that I insulted the pub crawl t-shirts in front of the girl who designed them earlier in the night. Hazaa!!! I also made small talk with an old couple while the 'crawl was at a tiny shitty bar. I felt bad for them because we were all there disturbing their bottle of wine.

So today, I worked off the hangover by NOT DOING ANY WORK. ...le sigh
I saw Sin City today, and holy ef'n shit, that movie rocks my socks off. My pants are tight just thinking about it. I also bought the new Queens of the Stone Age CD it rocks my socks in a similar fashion.

That's all for now, my children. Remember, stay away from retards and go watch Sin City.

PS. Lucas, I saw Heather Sleath and Erika May last night. Yes yes, I know, I know. You were right.

Pub Crawl tonight!

2005-04-01T17:48:00.000-04:00

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v309/bgwilde/drunk.gif

As many of you know, this pic is quite true, and I'll probably do it again tonight. You should see the ghey shirt they gave us. It's bright red and has a husky dressed as a cowboy and it says "Save a horse, ride a husky". I swear, I want to beat those responsible with a whale fin. It's ef'n retarded. BUT, Dave Cave is here, and that's going to be a good time. It's only 6pm and the hilarity has already ensued. I'm halfway thru a pint of Jager, and I'm feeling fine.

Hopefully I'll good stories for y'all tomorrow.

(christ, I just said y'all. ew.)

PS: THE POPE DIED!!!! (in case you live under rock and your only connection to the outside world is this blog.)

PPS: SOMEONE SHOW ME HOW TO PUT IMAGES IN THIS THING. I DONT KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WRONG.

As promised...

2005-03-30T21:51:00.000-04:00

...here's some stuff.

Canadians Fear Ottawa's Spending: Poll

http://www.canada.com/finance/moneylibrary/story.html?id=aa1d91e4-1204-4018-b080-4df0cb2fec95

Further proof that the greater public doesn't deserve democracy. Sometimes I really feel for Paul Martin. The guy has accomplished 8 straight balanced budgets, yet more than half of the people polled think he's running deficits! Read the friggin papers people! Or, if you're too busy to do that, dont make a fucking guess about it! Say you don't know!!! Martin, despite looking like an old medicated golden retriever, actually knows his shit! Take notice!
BUT! If that wasn't enough, after saying that the Federal Liberals were "throwing too much money around", 3/4 of the people polled are confident that the gov't is taking care of the economy. What, am I taking crazy pills?

So... what have we learned?
1. Polls are useless.
2. The general public is useless.

Feds plan copyright reform to curb music sharing

http://www.keralanext.com/news/indexread.asp?id=163639

And right after I say such nice things about Martin (minus the medicated dog part), his gov't goes and does this. So kids, I guess we're fucked... or maybe not. I highly doubt this will have a large impact. I get most of my music from kids in the US anyway, and they've had legislation like this for more than a year. Internet sharing will never die....

Furthermore...
"The amendments also ask that ISPs such as Rogers, Shaw and Bell "play a role in curbing the misuse of their facilities for copyright infringement.''
That has the potential to screw me. My house has a great deal of traffic going thru it. I imagine we'd be targeted rather quickly. Then again, it could all happen randomly like in the US. Anyone remember when the RIAA sued a grandmother and an 8 year old little girl? Hopefully the trend of ineptitude will continue here in the great white north.

The thing I dont understand is that "artists" like Lars Ulrich get all pissy about this. To quote Billy Corgan, "the music industry is turning into a doughnut. There are lots of flashy, hollow, highpriced acts at the top, then a big hole in the middle. At the bottom you have the smaller, unheard-of bands."
What I'm sure he realises, and what I've realised, is that internet sharing has closed the gap between the huge entertainers and the indy groups. Indy bands, though they don't sell a lot of CDs, are still being heard by a large majority of teenagers and 20-somethings. When you're heard, people will still fork over the money to go see you in concert. Bands make their money from touring. Record labels make money from CDs. The only reason why major record labels are losing money is because people get to sample their shitty music without buying it. They're being forced to put out a solid product - something that really doesn't happen too often.
My hope is that the internet will conquer the music industry and we can get back to having more artistic, small labels. The product is ALWAYS more raw and energetic. What I'm hoping for is a musical revolution of sorts, which is probably futile. I dont think my generation has it in them...

------------

Song of the moment:
...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - The Best
I swear, it's not metal or emo. Good rawk band, MSN me if you're interested and I'll send it to you.

Warning: Emo post

2005-03-30T13:29:00.000-04:00

So, I'm sitting here, enjoying a couple beers before class, as I sometimes do, and I find myself thinking about the class I just had before lunch. Basically, it's a class about international labor and the capitalist system. I could go into details about it, but all I will say is this: It is a chance for my professor to show us how depressing the real world really is... at least that's what I'm getting out of it. And he really is a pompous cunt who devotes his life to marxism. I'll talk about THOSE PEOPLE some other time, let's just say that I hold a deep hatred for anyone who devotes their entire life to a single ideal. Also, if some of you remember, this is the same jackass that accused me of plagiarism last semester.

Anyways, I found myself jotting down some things during his pointless diatribe, and they seemed to hit me quite hard. I started thinking back to early highschool. You know that time where we all think we know everything? Well, I thought I had answers, despite not liking many of them. Answers to life, answers to how things OUGHT to be. And as I've gained a tiny bit more life experience I've kept looking for answers and absolutes, but in the past 4 or 5 years, I've only come to more questions. And, if anything, I've found there are no truths, nor absolutes - only grey areas. I'm only left with conflicting ideals and viewpoints, that, to me anyway, bear absurdity.

I gotta laugh at it all, the absurdities and ironies of my life. But, sometimes I find myself ignoring the stuff that is truly good. I hardly take notice. Or is it that there really isn't much to feel good about? Am I forced to laugh at absurdity because there isn't much else to laugh about? I'm sure the good stuff is there, I just have to find it, and that will probably come.

More to come later today. I got a couple interesting articles that I found yesterday. They should piss you off a bit.

---------------

On another note, I figure I'd post a song from time to time. If you havn't heard it, I recommend you check it out.
So, for today, the song is: Bloq Party - Banquet (Phones Disco Edit)
If I could describe it properly... A modern day Blur, but without all the suck.

HAVE A SMILEY HAPPY DAY FOLKS!!!

My sick sense of humor is on display for you folks

2005-03-28T13:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, to start us off, let's get to the funnay: http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/

Too soon?

Sadly, I cannot take credit for this vile comedy, so I'll do the next best thing - I'll post it here so that people can laugh/be shocked or whatever.

Is it wrong to laugh at this? Or is it really the only thing I can do because I understand both ends of the arguments about her? No one will solve this for the better. People will have a standpoint, and they'll never budge. Each solution has it's pros and cons. So, let's just laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Hmm, they have blogs on the internet now?

2005-03-28T01:56:00.000-04:00

That first post was extremely lackluster...so, I apologize for that. I know that you, my adoring public, were very torn up about it. Oh, another thing. When do I get to have an adoring public? Do they send it to you in the mail or something? I figured that since I'm going to be a huge internet celebrity I should at least get to mingle with the little people in my life, the fans.

---

http://poststuff3.entensity.net/032305/image.php?pic=jesusbrb.jpg

So... it's Easter, eh? I love my mummy so much, she bought me like 5lbs. of Jelly Bellies. It was a good end to a great night to find that waiting for me on my pillow. Oh, and about that night, let me tell you something. That was a great fucking night. I haven't had a night like that in Saint John for ages. Saint John, what am I saying? I haven't had a night like that ANYWHERE in ages. And totally random too. Me, Jon and Gill. How fuckin random is that? LOTS OF BOOZE, the bars and long conversations was the name of the game. My god, I think Gill and I chatted over a pot of tea until 5:30 in the morning. The tea was definitely good after downing a bottle of Jagger and a lot of miscellaneous drinks and shots.

So ya, talking candidly with someone is highly underrated, and I suggest to all of you to do it. Talking with those two gave me a good feeling. Ah, the warm and fuzzies... where've you been lately? It's so much better to reminisce and really TALK to someone than to just argue or debate over sports and politics. That shit is fun once in a while, but it can be so fluffy.

Good times while talking about bad times... sounds like an EMO song.

Well, I'm off to bed. Gotta go back to F'ton tomorrow morning... oh joy ::rolls eyes::

my first blog post

2005-03-27T23:42:00.000-04:00

Hey, so this is me. I finally sold out and decided to post one of these, since all the hip kids are doing it. There'll be more from me later. I just have to figure out how to set the whole thing up.